I decided at the end of my Month of Hundreds that I would aim to give away $100 every week through the end of the year. Something about having that C-note in my pocket makes me more aware of what is going on around me; itâ€™s just a fact.
I spent the weekend in Boston, where Elijah is attending college. We had a great visit and talked, among other things, about my verifiable history as a cheapskate. He told me how the Oregonian reporter had called and asked if he could give her some examples of my cheapness.Â He apparently had no problem coming up with a slew, and reminded me about the time I drove around the block waiting for the guys at Jiffy Lube to put out their “$10 Off” sign. Stuff like that. I am very glad to see that my kids are both sensible and generous without having absorbed my troubled relationship to money.
The streets were positively teeming with people; scads of tourists as well as lots of folks who looked pretty down on their luck. It was chilly out, though nothing like it will be in a month or two. I saw people curled up in doorways, huddled in sleeping bags and sometimes under a sheet of cardboard.
On Saturday morning I went to get coffee at Borders and was doing some browsing when I noticed a well dressed man sitting in a comfy chair. He was sitting up straight with his eyes closed and appeared to be sound asleep. I watched him out of the corner of my eye as I thumbed through a book about the back roads of Ireland.
After a few minutes a store employee approached. He didnâ€™t say a word, just grabbed the back of the guyâ€™s chair and lifted it up. Then he let it bounce, hard. â€œHey! Get up!â€ he barked. The sleeperâ€™s eyes opened; he was now dazed yet alert.Â The employee told him to leave, then stood there staring him down.
I found this scene very upsetting and impulsively stepped to the guyâ€™s side. â€œHave you read this book?â€ I blurted out. I guess I wanted the employee to know whose side I would be on if it came down to it.Â The sleeper looked at me somewhat blankly and said, â€œNo, I havenâ€™t read that one.â€ Then he stood up and left.
I went to tell the employee what I thought of the situation and found him standing behind the counter. I understand that they donâ€™t want the store used as a hotel, but the guy wasn’t bothering anyone and I didnâ€™t see the need to be rude and disrespectful. He told me they had been trying to wake the guy up for a while (really?) and were about to call an ambulance. “And,” he preached, “These people generally don’t want an ambulance called.”
Really? These people? I told him I found his attitude offensive, put the books I had selected back and left without buying anything.
When I got to the airport today I still had the hundred in my pocket. I had plenty of time and a long flight ahead. It felt good to stretch my legs so I wandered around for a bit. I passed a shoe shine stand and was offered a shine. My suede boots were not a good candidate but I stopped to chat for a while. The shoe shine man asked me where I was going and told me he was headed for Berlin tomorrow; heâ€™s lived there on and off since he married a German woman in 1977. His wife doesnâ€™t like living in the US, although they tried to make a go of it.Â He has a second job with the airlines so he flies for free and goes back and forth every few months.
My mother was from Berlin, I told him. â€œYouâ€™re German, then! Thatâ€™s what I tell my kids! Donâ€™t deny your heritage! Just because you’re American doesn’t mean you’re not German, too!â€ He told me his name was â€œBrown, like the color.â€ A man came to get his shoes shined and Mr. Brown turned away and got to work.
I walked around a little more and thought a lot about Mr. Brown. He was going to Berlin? Tomorrow?Â It seemed such an unlikely coincidence. And he didnâ€™t strike me as an international traveler. But there I go again with my assumptions.
Berlin is the city from which my mother fled as a young woman and never returned.Â The city where her wealthy parents had their business and all their property confiscated by the Nazis. I’ve never visited and never wanted to. Berlin seems… scary somehow.
I turned back and went to find Mr. Brown. I told him I had a favor to ask him. A bit warily, he said sure, what was it? IÂ explained about my mother’s family and that they had been largely ruined by the Nazis. How my mother had left some of her fear planted deep within me. And that she had died not long ago. He nodded with understanding and watched me carefully.
I handed him the C-note. â€œIt would mean a lot to me if you would take this with you to Berlin and do something good with it.â€ His eyes lit up. â€œOh, wow! Yes, maâ€™am! Yes, I certainly will!â€ He wanted some ideas for what I had in mind so we talked about some possibilities. â€œThereâ€™s no homeless there, you know,â€ he reminded me.Â â€œGermany has got it going on; they know how to run a country!â€
Then he said, â€œOK, I get it! Youâ€™re blessing me and Iâ€™ll put a blessing on someone over there.â€ Then, “I’ll be thinking about you the whole time!”
I thanked him and we shook hands. He pulled a guy over to snap our photo then laughed at how small I looked. “At least I have a nice smile,” he said. He gave me all his phone numbers. In case I want to talk some time. And I really should make it over there. Berlin is a beautiful city, he said. With beautiful people.
As I walked away I heard him sing out, “Shoe shine! Shine ’em up! Shoe shine!”
Mr. Brown, I’ll be thinking about you, too.
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Another â€œhome runâ€ Jill! I loved your honesty re: your son and his recollections, I loved the vignette at Borders, (and was really quite shocked by itâ€¦ they need to get an irate letter from you!) But you and Mr. Brown, that was the prefect solution, the REAL and BEST ending to this new chapter of â€œJillâ€™s Great Adventuresâ€. Following in your footsteps, and totally enjoying the journey, my dear! ( Please delete previous entry!!! Entered without proofing!)
I’m planning on a trip to Boston next weekend! (Also from PDX) Too bad Mr. Brown will be in Berlin…I’d have looked around the airport for him!
I will be looking for him next time I’m there. Maybe others will as well! Won’t he be surprised!
🙂 I told you it was addictive!
Isn’t the world a lot brighter and don’t you feel more empathy when you meet strangers on the street?
One never knows the path others walk.
We are still learning.
We are all connected in this thing called ‘life.’
Eagerly anticipating your next post..
A lovely post as always. I’d love to go to Berlin, despite it’s terrible past I hear it is a very beautiful place. My 15 year old stepson went there recently for a school trip. Upon his return I asked if he’d liked it…to which he replied, “yeah it was really cool”…big praise indeed when the usual answer to everything is “it was alright”!!
That is high praise indeed from a 15 year old! Thanks for your comment! Jill
I love this one, especially the picture. I love standing next to really huge men and imagining what it would be like to live in such a great big body. I guess we’ll never know!
Yes, he’s big all right! Especially standing next to you, who must be about my height (5’3″). I am so glad you are still handing out C-notes, but the real treasure is the human connection you are making, not only with the recipient, but also with your readers, like me, whose day has just been brightened considerably by this post.
Djan- Thank you for continuing to read and share the blog! Yep, I’m a wee one. Jill
Jill, I’ve been so impressed by the connecting you’ve done during your Month of Hundreds. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts in this way–I really enjoy the way you write. The thought of even visiting Germany was anathema for my Jewish husband when we were first married. In the late 70s we bypassed most of Germany for that reason, enroute to a tour of several other European countries. But since then he has had work related occasion to visit several German cities. A couple years ago we had reason to visit Berlin, coincidentally during Rosh Hashanah; a trip to the Holocaust Memorial at night with some other Jewish friends remains one of the most moving of our travel memories.
Thank you, Donna. I am so glad to hear your positive memories of visiting Berlin. Makes me fee braver about the possibility of visiting some day. I would love to see where my mom grew up and where they had the clothing store. Jill
I realy enjoyed your story about Mr. Brown, so glad that you are still handing out C notes to people. You are making a difference in the world.
Thank you for your insight, compassion, self reflection and your willingness to share your thoughts. I have kept your blog bookmarked and I look forward to reading about your experiences and sharing them with my husband and three boys: 10, 13, 15.
I love that I can finally see your warm friendly face. I wonder if you will have strangers randomly stopping you just to say, “thank you”
Erica- Thank you for your sweet comment and for sharing the story with your family. Best wishes- Jill
How lovely and true.